It is still morning here and so far, I feel okay. His actual birthday has never been the hardest day for me. Yesterday, I felt the saddest I've felt in sometime. I felt sad, but also just on edge, I didn't want to go to work and leave A. Once Mr. g is home from work we will start our traditions for M. Picking out our tree, lighting our candle. I know I will feel better then, I always do when I actually get to do something that feels like it is for M. In some ways, I think this year has been harder than last year. I know some of that is the addition of A, seeing her can be a painfully obvious view of what I missed out on. And also, just combining the two, the happy and sad in my life. It is a strange balancing act.
I want to say more, my insides feel like they are bursting at the seams with feelings, but at the same time, I feel speechless. I have often wondered, how do you keep talking about someone who lived so short a time? But, at the same time, I don't want to quit talking about him.
My sweet, sweet M,
how I miss you!!!
I wish I could give you a million hugs
and kisses for real, but these will have to do
until we are together again.
XOXOXOXOXOXO
Love, Mommy
14 comments:
Missing you, M. Happy Birthday.
Thinking of all you today, Ms. G. Holding you all in my heart.
Just a lurker that wanted to say that I'm thinking of you and M today.
Shana
Happy birthday, M, & big hugs to you, Ms G.
Thinking of you as you are missing M. I wish you a peaceful heart.
XOXO to you too,
Monica
Hoping you find peace and comfort today.
Thinking of you and your precious M. *hugs*
It's impossible to stop talking about someone you love, no matter how small, no matter how absent...
thinking of you...
Remembering M with you and wishing you peace.
Happy Birthday M. You are loved and dearly missed. Thinking of you Ms. G and Mr. G and A too.
Remembering with you, and wishing you peace and a dash of joy as you fulfill your lovely and meaningful rituals tonight.
I just wanted to let you know that I am remembering with you, and sending my prayers up for you.
Thinking of you and M and A, Ms. G.
I'm sorry I didn't stop by yesterday.
You don't have to quit talking about him, Ms. G. Never ever so long as you still want and need to.
A little late, I am. However, your little one will never be forgotten.
Thinking of you all.
I am late too for M's birthday. I am thinking of him today. Missing you MG. ((((hugs)))) Ms G.
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