I have read a lot of blogs lately that mention the fact that many people not in our "club" are so clueless, and never, ever think it could happen to them. This is very true, I honestly don't think anyone in my life since my loss, has thought, "gee, that could have been/could be me".
Then I had this thought- what about our living children if we are lucky enough to have them? I guess I started thinking about it because my l/c is a girl, and there is a good chance she will want children and if she is lucky, become pregnant one day. She won't be able to claim ignorance, after all, it happened to her mom. And because I imagine she will know details of my pregnancy loss, she won't be able to think the thing many people do to protect themselves, you know, the "there must have been something wrong with baby/mom/both of them" that lets them continue to believe it won't happen to them.
Now, I know there are women out there whose moms have suffered a loss. I wonder though if the way society handles it now compared to then will make a difference. We dead baby moms talk about it more, and many of us include our babies in our family, so our living children know about the sibling and the loss. Not so true just a generation ago even. There is a woman in my support group whose mom had a stillbirth and this woman did not even know that until she suffered the loss of her own newborn daughter. I find it touching that at the walk to remember, this woman always walks not only for her daughter, but her sister too.
I wonder, if baby girl A ever is pregnant, how will her pregnancy be? Of course I think she will be thrilled and excited, but will she have that bouncy innocence so many of us had before and so many women have now? I hope that she doesn't let her knowledge take away her joy (after all, she isn't the one who experienced it) but I do hope that knowledge lets her be more watchful, careful, and assertive with her doctors. And that, should the worst happen, she will know she wants the pictures and momentos.