Wednesday, August 1, 2007

Support group

When M first died, Mr. G and I attended a local support group. We went every month. But slowly, we trickled into not every month, and now, the last time we went was March.

Being pregnant again, I really feel like I want to go. There are so many anxieties and feelings that come along with this. My struggle is that the last few times we have gone, I have felt guilty taking up too much time talking with so many new moms there. I always feel I should let the new moms have the time to talk. I remember so well those first months after M died. They were hell. I clung to the support group like a lifeline.

I know that it's okay for me to go talk and take up a reasonable amount of time. Once I'm there though, and see those moms, I just keep thinking how much they probably need it, the way I did.


niobe said...

Of course, it's impossible to know without being there, but it may be that some of the other moms are happier listening than talking. I know that if I had attended a support group, I would have preferred to hear what other people had to say, rather than sharing my own feelings -- at least in the beginning.

Monica said...

I love my support group! Actually I attended two. One was a closed group and only met for six weeks. I still e-mail and talk with those couples. The other is a monthly meeting and I have attended every month since September of 06'. I even hosted a meeting at my house because the hospital cancelled the meeting due to bad weather. I don't know what I'd do without them. I wish there was a "pregnancy after a loss" group because I feel like our needs are a little different. I still mourn Jimmy and want to talk about him, but I also want to share my feelings about this pregnancy, and I know that some women who are not in that phase of the journey or for those who may not be considering pregnancy have a difficult time with pregnant women. I still attend my group, I just make it a point not to talk too much about this pregnancy. There are three of us in the group who are now in our "subsequent pregnancy". I say do whatever makes you feel better.