Saturday, June 21, 2008

I probably did the same thing "before"

Well, tonight I read a post over at Rosepetal's blog . Then I read the one comment that had been left. Then I saw red. It really ticked me off. At one point in the comment it read "I've never lost a child......" Oh. Of course. But you are full of advice on how we should handle our grief.

My anger didn't last long though. Because, lets be honest. I might have thought my advice was good "before" too. I probably still do it a little. You know, think I know about things, that guess what? I don't. I don't walk in those shoes. We all do it. We all think we have a good answer, or good advice.

Losing M, and hearing all those good answers and that good advice from "I've never lost a child......" people made me realize I didn't know what I was talking about either.

So why be mad? They don't know that they just don't know. And they are damn lucky for it.

10 comments:

niobe said...

I pretty much ignore other people's advice if I don't like it. I hope Rosepetal can too.

CLC said...

I feel this anger over these comments as well, but I am trying to let it pass. People who don't know what it's like to walk in these shoes could never possibly understand, and I don't fault them for that. But at the same time, I am not sure why they are reading these blogs, it reminds me of someone looking at a car accident on the side of a road. Just morbid curiosity, in my opinion.

CLC said...

And I forgot to add that I will never tire of hearing you say "I could have wrote that" because it means so much to me to know that someone else feels similarly and that these feelings are "normal".

Rosepetal said...

Thanks Ms G. I only had time to read them quickly and they just come across as utterly ridiculous - laughable almost.

Tash said...

I went and left a message, and a suggestion that BEs leave grief blogs alone. That or come take us all on over at GITW instead of cowardly taking on a lone blogger by herself.

Unbelievable.

kate said...

Yes, you are right, but it still makes me mad. In general i wonder why people spout off their mouths about things they know nothing about?

By the way i have read here a few times but i don't think i left comments before. I am sorry for the loss of your son. Please email me if you want access to my blog as well.

Julia said...

This is pretty much the only thing that makes me mad-- the asses and chickenshits who know how we should handle our tragedies. Theoreticians, one and all. People who feel so secure in their wisdom that they feel no hesitation in sharing it with people whose pain they know nothing about. This is selfish on so many levels. Thinking their advice indispensable, talking to make themselves feel better in some way, be it about the universe making sense or about "this" only happening to people who deserve it or need it in some way, i.e. not to them. Urgh... Like I said, pretty much the only thing that gets me mad.

Monica C. said...

Yes, I still have the anger too. And yes, they are incredibly lucky that the don't know what it feels like.

Ugghh!

Samaria said...

i so agree..how lucky they are to not know.

The Diary of Pain. said...

Just because other people have not been through the same pains that I have been through, doesn't mean that they don't have a very helpful point of view. ESPECIALLY since that point of view is probably different than yours.


How helpful would somebody be, if all they told you were things that you already know?

Take care, Kioskete.