tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5498447762327844508.post6155068485861016781..comments2023-08-21T02:29:13.411-07:00Comments on Broken Heart Diaries: The letterms. Ghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15263348912679823512noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5498447762327844508.post-6769804524711418182007-08-18T20:05:00.000-07:002007-08-18T20:05:00.000-07:00Ms. G I completely understand your frustrations an...Ms. G <BR/><BR/>I completely understand your frustrations and anger towards your family members. I have not spoken to my father and step mother in over a year, because they didn't acknowledge that my son and their grandchild had died. It hurts when you expect someone so close to you to be sensitive and supportive of your situation and they are completely blind. Your emotions play an important part in your grieving process, so do what makes you comfortable and happy. That may or may not include your in-laws. Best of luck to you! I'm sorry to hear about losing M and I wish you comfort and peace in this pregnancy.<BR/><BR/>MonicaMonica Hhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14767867041043811045noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5498447762327844508.post-14032654690851571402007-07-14T17:09:00.000-07:002007-07-14T17:09:00.000-07:00Thank you for your comments. And reading that lon...Thank you for your comments. And reading that long saga! I just felt so overwhelmed with anger when I read the letter. <BR/><BR/>Catherine,<BR/>Yes, I suppose it is possible for my husband to have a relationship with them without me. I think he would have a bigger problem with that than I would, because he sees us as a united front. I don't know if I can have a relationship with them, I think that is where a lot of my emotion comes from.<BR/><BR/>Niobe,<BR/>I do understand that some people don't like the emotional stuff. I think some of my anger comes from the relationship we had prior. We were close, (i thought) so I never saw the "no emotions" thing from them coming. Like you said, the not remembering M thing would be a problem for me, as I feel people should let the parent take the lead, and then follow. If they want to talk about their baby, they should be able to, if they don't, they shouldn't have to.<BR/><BR/>Anyway, I appreciate your thoughts, you guys have given me some things to think about.ms. Ghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15263348912679823512noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5498447762327844508.post-62657502631740531992007-07-14T17:00:00.000-07:002007-07-14T17:00:00.000-07:00Well, it does sound as if they're finally acknowle...Well, it does sound as if they're finally acknowledging that they didn't do enough to support you. Of course, they aren't really recognizing the other ways in which they've let you and your husband and M down. I know you said there are other things that happened, so I might not be understanding the full situation. <BR/><BR/>But just because they've apologized for part of how they hurt you doesn't mean that you have to have a close relationship -- or even any relationship, depending on how close knit the family is -- with them in the future. Especially since it sounds like their inability to talk about M or do things to remember him are ongoing problems. As you point out, it might just be the way they are. Some people (like me, for example) have a lot of trouble dealing with strong emotions.<BR/><BR/>Anyway, these thoughts probably aren't very useful. But, even if our situations are different, I know how hard it can be to deal with family member who just don't seem to understand.niobehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10685766216611639434noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5498447762327844508.post-79639598151799542692007-07-12T10:32:00.000-07:002007-07-12T10:32:00.000-07:00Instead of focusing on who did what to whom...why ...Instead of focusing on who did what to whom...why don't you try focusing on the future? Is there anything these people can do that will make it all right in your eyes? Or do you feel that your relationship is irretrievably broken? <BR/><BR/>Only you know what you want/need in your life (don't waste your time justifying yourself to anyone). It seems as if your husband, for whatever reason, wants to rebuild a relationship with these people. If you and your husband can't see eye to eye, then maybe you just need to agree to have separate relationships with them. <BR/><BR/>I offer this from my own experience with my mother-in-law (not written about and only complained about privately). She has done things that have caused me to cut her out of my life completely. My husband still has a relationship with her (albeit a strained relationship). I have to respect his desire to communicate with his mother even though I do not like it. But it has worked for us and I am much happier not having to deal with that woman myself. :o)<BR/><BR/>Good luck to you.Catherinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01160908955133304449noreply@blogger.com